The Atonement: The Best Source of Healing

Some of the best moments of my life have happened on my knees as I have talked to my Father in Heaven through prayer. Like anyone else on this earth, I have had my fair share of difficult times and trials that have seemingly pushed my limits beyond my own capacity to handle. In all honesty, each time I have been placed up against a difficult situation, it HAS been beyond what I can handle by myself. And that will always be the case here on earth. But I have a firm testimony that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, our ability to overcome challenges becomes more than we can comprehend.

One moment from my freshman year at BYU sticks out in my mind as one of the first times in my life when I felt like I truly understood the power of the atonement. A few months earlier, I came face to face with the most difficult trial I had ever experienced. I had been betrayed, lied to, and demoralized by someone I truly loved and cared about deeply. Yet, he had no desire to change his addiction and I was left with a hole in my heart that I cannot describe.

For months on end, I am not afraid to say that I was miserable. I replayed the events in my mind over and over again and clung to the pain I was still feeling from everything. I wanted so badly to feel ok again and to not have the pain any longer but it seemed like no matter what I did, the pain remained. I had been told my entire life that the atonement could heal anything, but I was beginning to doubt as I sunk deeper into the pain. I began to think that I would just have to deal with everything for the rest of my life, that the atonement really couldn’t take my pain away completely.

One summer night, I was lying in my bed at my parents’ home, replaying everything in my mind. As I was curled up and too numb to cry, I felt a quiet thought come into my mind reminding me that the atonement can take away any pains that we feel, if we but only ask in faith. I felt a stirring in my heart to get on my knees and pray. To be perfectly honest, I was skeptical to say the least. I felt like I had been praying for months to be healed, and at times felt like my prayers never reached past the ceiling. Why would this time be any different?

As I kneeled down, I began to pray. At first, my words were reserved and quite possibly superficial. I was afraid to tell my Heavenly Father how I was really feeling; I was afraid to let him into my heart. Again, I felt a quiet thought in my mind and a feeling in my heart urging me to “let it all out,” for lack of a better term. With the little bit of faith that I had left, I began to tell my Heavenly Father everything, from the very beginning. I told him what happened, how I was feeling, everything. And soon I was sobbing on my floor, pleading for the pain to be taken away from me. For the first time, I can truly say that my heart was in the right place and that I put my faith in my Heavenly Father entirely, actually believing that He could take it away from me as I asked with a sincere heart.

What happened next, is something I will never forget. I could physically feel the burden I had been carrying for almost 6 months being lifted away from me and my heart filled with a peace and comfort I have no words for. I could quietly hear a whisper testifying to me that it was because of the atonement of Jesus Christ that my pain was removed and my heart was healed. I cried tears of gratitude and thanked my Heavenly Father profusely that night.

Since that night, I have never felt the pain of those experiences again in any way. 

I bear my humble testimony that the atonement is real. Christ suffered for each and every one of us in a more personal way than we can imagine and through his great selflessness, we can be healed from anything and everything. I know that without the power of the atonement, I would still feel a great pain in my heart 3 years later. I know that if we ask in faith and with a truly sincere heart for the power of the atonement to manifest itself in our lives, we can be healed from any pain we are feeling. It is my testimony that we have a loving Heavenly Father who is ready and waiting to help us in any way possible if we will but ask for His help in faith.

Puzzle Pieces: My Engagement Story

As many of you know I am engaged to Tyson Perry :) Hands down, he is the most wonderful man I have ever known or ever will. What many people don’t know is that I knew Tyson for 7 weeks when we got engaged. When people hear that, I love to see their reactions because it’s either pure shock or joy; there is no in-between.  

As I look back on the events that led up to my engagement to Ty, I have felt strongly that it is a story that needs to be shared because the whole thing has strengthened my testimony of how aware of each and every one of us the Lord truly is. He is always working behind the scenes to help each piece of our life fit together perfectly, even if it means we encounter hardships along the way. Why keep a story like that to myself when it could possibly bless another?

 

Many of you are aware that I had a missionary. We were great friends and positive that we would be “together forever.” The years we dated leading up to his mission were very difficult for me and I always had a feeling in my heart that something wasn’t right. Yet, I was determined to try and make things work out. Fast forward almost 3 years to this past September, 2013. He had been gone for a year and a half and I finally felt like we were on the home-stretch of this whole waiting-game. We were so close to the end and I was convinced that nothing could go wrong at this point in time. One night, I got an email from him that changed everything for me and I knew without a doubt that it was not right for me to keep him in my plans any longer. Yet, I lacked the courage to completely break away. We stayed in touch and I did my best to support him, all the while knowing that we could never be more than friends again. 

Fast forward to November 2013. I had some experiences in high school that made me not want a Facebook so I continued to not have one for many years. But one morning in November, I woke up with the distinct prompting to create a Facebook account. I know that sounds strange and my first thought when I had the prompting was pure confusion. Why in the world would Heavenly Father be asking me to create a Facebook?! I followed the prompting in faith and thought “what could it hurt?”

A few months later, I received numerous promptings that were encouraging me to cut-off my communication with my missionary and I was quite sad. 

I began to pray for the courage to follow what I knew needed to be done and for chances to date. The next day, I was sitting in the class that I TA for when the professor said he felt impressed to share a spiritual thought with us. I can’t even remember what the topic was about, but I do remember so vividly how I felt during it. In that short 5 minute thought, something changed in me and I had the courage to write this man and tell him that we could no longer be in contact. I told him that I didn’t know why, but it just wasn’t right. For many years, I hung onto him as a security blanket of sorts. And giving that up was no easy task. Yet, my Heavenly Father made it crystal clear that He couldn’t give me the blessings I sought unless I had the faith to step into the dark and let go. I let go of my “security blanket” and what happened in the following weeks continues to amaze me. 

That very Friday after I let go of my plans and let Heavenly Father take over, I went on a double date with a good friend and his old mission companion, Tyson. Ty was not my date J A few days later, I came home to a message on Facebook from him telling me that he would like to get to know me better. We exchanged numbers and he called to ask me out for a date that Friday night. (Remember how I felt so strongly that I needed to get a Facebook? ;) We hit it off surprisingly well from the first date and we were basically inseparable ever since. Last Friday, Tyson took me up the canyon and asked me to marry him. It was the best moment of my life and one that I will never forget! How blessed I am to have him in my life forever.

Many people have also heard me talk about how for a little over year now I had been prompted to finish school a year earlier than I was scheduled to. That meant I had to go year round and take a full course load of 18 credits for a few semesters. When I got the prompting, I truthfully had no reason at all to finish early. I wasn’t dating anyone, nothing. But I knew what I had been asked by the Lord and I followed in faith. For over a year, I didn’t know why I needed to finish so early. I didn’t even have a hint. And in the past 7 weeks, it has all fallen into place. Ty has accepted a job offer in Fort Worth, Texas, meaning that we will be moving right after we are married in June. Had I not followed the prompting and finished early, we wouldn’t be able to take that opportunity.

These are just some of the events that led up to our engagement and they are very dear to my heart as I have seen all the little pieces of my life come together in such a short period of time. People may think I’m crazy for being engaged to a man I have known for 7 weeks, but I know that it’s right. I know the Lord’s hand has been in this relationship from the beginning and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that Ty is the one.

My main point in all of this is just to remember that the Lord is aware of us. Even if we don’t see the results immediately, there is a reason for the promptings that we receive. It wasn’t easy by any means, but I know that if we strive to have the humility to listen when the Lord speaks to us, He WILL make all the pieces fit together. And more perfectly than we have any idea J The Lord lives and He loves us so very much. He causes some things to not work out so that we can have the greatest happiest in the end. He wants the best for us. And He knows us individually. I know that with all that I am and hope that you come to know it too.